Arena of Assholes Round 2 - r/whowouldwin (2024)

Argh, here we go.

Monochrome

So from what I’m getting here, Ah Gou needs to consciously activate Monochrome, and here he uses it after having to dodge enemy projectiles. The impression I’m getting is that he’s not liable to immediately open up with this technique as soon as the battle starts.

if you can’t lift real good, you are f*cked

Well then, it’s a good thing two thirds of my team can do exactly that. I’d say the airtime Mr. Krabs achieved flipping the Krusty Krab is a sign of some damn good lifting.

Krabs

Again my opponent refuses to accept the truth of Eugene Krabs being a god among common man, and that their team’s fate lies in his claws.

Yes, they are in fact gags. They’re there solely for the purpose of conveying a joke, as I’ve already explained. Once more I reference the wall of feats I’ve found that provide a contradictory claim to what you’re asserting. Struggling to lift weights are clearly outliers when he’s lifted the Krusty Krab on different occasions and otherwise displayed strength that proves otherwise to your claim of antifeats.

You want more heat resistance? How’s about being used as a bridge over molten lava and just being covered in soot that he can immediately recover from? The dude straight up doesn’t care about lava unless it threatens the livelihood of his cash register. King Neptune being capable of frying Krabs in spite of this isn’t a contradiction; it’s a showcase of just how powerful the former is, and that he too can generate heat greater than lava. It’s a similar case with Sandy’s big hard nuts being able to hurt Krabs despite his durability; no contradiction, just a showcase of her firepower.

The battle rules literally state that getting BFR’d counts as incapacitation, mah boi. Krabs yeets whoever he grabs out of the arena and automatically gets them removed.

Nappa

The point of that clip is that Nappa has common sense in this tourney per the decree of my stipulation. He’s got the sense of not letting his enemy hit him, and rather than think along the lines of ‘But Vegeta, tricks are for kids!’ he’s gonna be more like ‘Hashtag you missed’. I’m not saying he’s some battle genius, I’m saying he’s not going to be an idiot and give his opponents a chance to hit him.

First clip consists of Piccolo charging up his attack for most of the time, and your assertion that it’s slow is contradicted by how quickly the Special Beam Cannon hits that mountain. Second clip’s both in slow motion and is a gag that otherwise shows how quickly his beam is fired and how quickly it hits. Not exactly seeing any ‘slowness’ in that third clip.

Again I say, Nappa’s not an idiot this time around, and his ki attacks are still gonna be a danger.

Bowser

My opponent has yet to contest Bowser’s magic and how much it could help him and the rest of my team here. Nothing suggests to me he couldn’t turn his opponent into an apple or a frog. Not to mention, he has his Smash Bros. items as well, which further give him numerous advantages here.

Since my opponent hasn’t contested Bowser’s magic, I have to assume that whoever he fights is gonna end up dealing with becoming an apple or frog or being subjected to his items that’ll make it easier to dispose of them. Ah Gou could very well end up polymorphed which could dispose of Monochrome, so win win for my team.

And everything I myself have said still stands as well. My opponent has not contested whether or not his team would be able to reliably deal with the versatility that Bowser will be bringing to the table, and continues to claim that Mr. Krabs is not a challenge due to his outlier gags in spite of the resume of feats I have showcased in my initial statpost that prove the exact opposite to such. Eugene’s lesser showings are pretty much always played up for jokes, and rarely drama. His in tier feats show that not only is he absolutely a force to be reckoned with in this tourney as a whole, but that he can slap some ass and expect to remain standing by the end of this match. Nappa is coming in with at least basic common sense per my stipulation, and Bowser’s strength, firepower, and magic/items are guaranteed to ruin my opponent’s team’s day.

My team yeets and deletes with almost disgusting ease, and celebrates their win with some good old Krabby Patties, arghargharghargharghargh.

/u/corvette1710 uwu

1

u/corvette1710May 20 '22

Magic

Gonna say from the outset that I have no idea what Bowser's magic means. My opponent hasn't established any propensity of Bowser to use it instead of hitting or breathing fire at somebody, and it isn't mentioned whatsoever in Bowser's tier justifications.

If it's irrelevant to his matchup with Venom, it's probably irrelevant here. Hell, it's usually irrelevant to his matchup with Mario. What magic we do see a vector for is just "slow beam" that never ever hits my team.

BFR

Literally does not exist in this arena dude. Unless you mean the ocean? But all of my characters can either straight up fly or unironically swim through rock faster than any of your characters move on land.

Krabs

the heat durability is honestly irrelevant but my opponent is still definitely wrong about it i think

ooh neptune so strong!!!

so strong that the flames are put out by a mop bucket's worth of water bro shut up

Come to think of it, if Krabs is a f*ckoff tonner or whatever, why doesn't he just break out of the ice when Neptune freezes him? Should be trivial. Isn't. For whatever reason, chooses to allow Plankton to enact Evil Plan Z and steal the Krabby Patty Formula, the most precious item he owns.

There was basically no response to "Krabs is not durable here are all these things destroying his shell", there seems to be no understanding of the idea that my team will not stop when his shell shatters, they're going to mangle the fleshy molted lump of crab sitting in front of them. There is no opportunity in this match to regenerate to whatever degree he actually can.

Krabs cannot do one single thing in this match without dying instantly against any of my picks, two of whom are way faster than him at the outset, and one who can become twice as fast as him by doing one single action that he'll do anyway. They all instantly oneshot him for the reason that he is slow and weak.

Nappa

Choosing to dodge against Vegeta, who he knows is stronger than he is, is not indicative of "I am smarter now" whatsoever lol.

The claim was never "Nappa categorically does not dodge", the claim was always "Nappa is an idiot and this works against him, here are some examples, one of which is that he will sometimes choose to eat attacks".

Fact is that because he is way slower than two thirds of my team outright, he will never hit them. Ki blasts aren't instant whatsoever, and since they're not equalized they aren't fast. Nappa is an idiot, always will be, and no amount of babysitting will make him not an idiot.

"Special Beam Cannon!"

PEW

"Is that what you're going to yell out when you--OH GOD!"

brief intermission

"Dammit... and there was no way I could've gotten out of there."

"You know, you could've flown."

"DAMN YOU, HINDSIGHT!"

literally pointing out that raditz could've done an entire full-body movement (while restrained) in order to dodge the attack after piccolo had already committed to it.

i dont see any slowness

You haven't posted any evidence that any ki attacks are actually fast. What that clip showed is that characters in DBZA can react to ki attacks (including Nappa's), and even though they're slower than he is (he dodges six attackers) they can react to him, have full thought processes with multiple lines of internal dialogue in the time it takes for the attack to land.

My point is that my characters are as fast or way faster than Nappa, so because his ki blasts are reactable, even if they happened in the same time-frames relative to Nappa in this match that they do in the show (they don't btw because ranged attacks are not spequalized), my team would be fully able to dodge them. Half the time in the show the question literally is, and they lampshade this, "Why didn't you dodge?"

All these characters slower than and equal in speed to Nappa can react and dodge his attacks if they so choose. Why can't mine Just Do That?

Ah Gou has to consciously choose to use Monochrome, yes. He can do so at any time at no cost to himself. The instant he does, Krabs dies (he is weak). Nappa is immobilized. Bowser begins to disintegrate.

melee only

Like I said, Monochrome has a huge range (this is a golem made from a city). It's stronger the closer you are to Ah Gou, but that matters literally not at all to Mr. Krabs (who dies the instant it's used no matter where he is on the map) or Nappa (who dies as soon as Ah Gou lays eyes on him).

Bowser, who up to this point could not hit 2/3 of my team with his strikes or projectiles, can now hit none of my team (he is half as fast as he was a second ago). He is now also half as durable and half as strong. His blasts are in some cases fully suppressed, in others greatly weakened.

heh, this slam looks under tier

The operative part isn't really the slam, it's the crushing weight and immobilization, as well as the disintegration and weakening. I'd agree the crater isn't that good for the tier (but not irrelevant), but it's more than enough to overwhelm Krabs and Nappa instantly.

Redtooth pretty clearly just cuts through the entire enemy team whenever he wants. He's way faster and cuts through multiple feet of stone at a time.

Xuan pretty clearly just facef*cks whoever he goes against, he hits extremely hard and moves unbelievably fast. My opponent's team has zero recourse against him. They'll never be able to hit him.

My team's speed has pretty much been completely uncontested.

The entire enemy team is slower by a huge margin than two thirds of my team, irrespective of Monochrome. After it's used, the difference in speed is magnified.

My entire team oneshots Krabs and fewshots Nappa (Redtooth instantly kills him). Bowser can take a few hits but it's one thing to get pushed through a couple boulders and another to be hit one trillion times in a row by hits similar to those while under the effects of a power than disintegrates his body and weakens his body without any ability for him to respond to his attackers.

My team, while fully able to take a hit from anyone on the enemy team, never has to because of the incredible speed differential (something my opponent has not directly contested, only reasserted the stats granted by spequalization). If you're spequalized you are irrelevant to 2/3 of my team. Then if you get Monochromed Ah Gou has to lose to someone who is half as fast as he is and who is in the process of disintegrating.

In order for my team to lose, they would have to be defeated by people who are worse in a fight in every way than they are, and they all have direct feats of defeating people who have none of the disadvantages the members of my opponent's team all have. All this while those enemies (who are worse in every way than anyone on my team) are literally falling apart at a cellular level.

Anyone on my team can 1v3 the entire enemy team. They are all but irrelevant to my team in terms of their ability to enforce win conditions. They can't hit my team, they can't survive any engagement with my team, and they cannot think around these disadvantages whatsoever.

/u/Kiryu2012 we're all goofy goobers yeah

Arena of Assholes Round 2 - r/whowouldwin (2024)

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